PUPO!!

I'm PUPO!! (Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise!)

Well today I am 6dp5dt (6 days past 5 day transfer.) I'd like to say the time has flown by, but that'd be a lie. Things have been awful around here, which is one reason for my lack of posts, things have been NUTS!

First off, I'll cover the transfer, because that actually went very well. Once again, CCRM impressed me with their efficiency, care, and professionalism. I was slightly worried about the full bladder thing, I worried for days prior to the transfer that I'd pee on the Dr. as he was doing the transfer, it was actually stressing me out a little. I was conservative with how much water I drank, especially because I knew I had the acupuncture before the transfer. It worked out really well with the way I did it, and there was an ultrasound tech checking my bladder regularly via ultrasound which quickly eased my mind. No one got peed on, what a relief! :) The Valium helped the day to go by very fast, I give the experience an A+!

Everything was great, the acupuncture before and after was a nice addition to the transfer, and overall I left CCRM feeling very comfortable, and hopeful!

Embryologist prepping Frostie

One perfect little love

By now, HCG should be in my bloodstream, but we have not taken any home pregnancy tests. To be honest, I don't know if we will or not, there's a lot of fear of what we might see when the results pop up. Sometimes I want to test, other times I really don't. I go in and out of thinking that this worked, and that uncertainty is killing me. I've been having some early pregnancy symptoms, but it's hard for me to know if they are just side effects from the Progesterone, or if it's from our little Frostie. I was on the Progesterone for 5 days before the transfer, but I only was having cramping as a side effect until around 3dp5dt. At 4dp5dt I stated getting random headaches, waves a nausea, soreness on my outer breasts, and low random cramps different from those initial cramps I was getting. I am trying SOOOOO hard not to read into every little thing going on in body right now, because really, they all could be from the Progesterone. Today I have had no symptoms at all, I am feeling fine, which is making me a little sad and worried. It's amazing how hard it is to not read into every little sensation, or even lack of sensation during these days of waiting. I would say that I am prepared for whatever our test result is, I just need to know.  I have so many sensations that I have been feeling, and sometimes I feel so pregnant, but other times I don't. I'd like to think that I am not going crazy here, but I very well might be lol. I will know for sure on Wednesday. 

Now onto the not so pleasant happenings...

So a very aggressive wildfire started just a few miles from my house the day after my transfer. How's that for timing, right? We had a massive fire (Waldo Canyon Fire) last summer in my town that made it into a residential area. At the time, the Waldo Canyon Fire became the most destructive fire in Colorado's history. Unfortunately, this fire that's going on now (Black Forest Fire) has even surpassed the Waldo Canyon Fire. So far, 484 homes have been destroyed, and there have been 2 confirmed deaths. The first started on the day after the transfer, and it started so strong, it was going crazy, it was very hot, it was very windy, and the fire was calling all of the shots. I became very worried early-on that we would need to evacuate. Luckily, we were just south of the evac line, but it didn't change the fear and sadness I continued to feel. The evac lines kept expanding, and nothing but pure destruction was going on. As selfish as it is, I was so sad, and mad that this had to happen right after my transfer, while I was still on bed rest even. With all of this happening, I actually thought for sure that my transfer was doomed, I was just so upset for too long. I have gotten more optimistic since then, I think that our little Frostie is resilient and strong enough to handle it all, but it still just makes me realize how cruel and unfair life can be at times. I'm still just so sick over all of this, I cannot believe that my hometown where I have lived for 28 years has seen such devastating fires two summers in a row. The fire is now 55% contained, which is good, but it doesn't change the horrendous damage that this thing has caused. My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone affected by this fire, especially those who have lost their homes, and for the family and friends of those who lost their lives.

That's about it for now, I will leave you with a few photos from the fire. Stay safe and healthy, friends!

XO

Taken from our bedroom shortly after the fire started