We Have A Date!

Yesterday we got the remainder of our calendar set up and this will now take us all the way to our FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer.) I have it below, and I have also put a copy of the schedule into the IVF calendar section. I am so excited to be where we are right now. Yes, we have a long way to go still, but we have also already come so far! 

The calendar is pretty set in stone at this point, it's very unlikely that things will change now. We won't be waiting on a period, during my Lupron Depot months, I just go 28 days on this first one, and then I get my next shot on day 29. Then after another 28 days, we go right into the prep for the transfer. Easy, and no waiting around for my stupid period to show up (story of my life!)

So our FET will be....


JUNE 10, 2013!!!  :)

I even downloaded a countdown app for my phone to keep track of how many days we have left. So today we are at 73 days remaining. That still seems like such a long time, but I really think the time will pass quickly.

The Lupron Depot has been OK so far, but it usually takes a week or two to get the crazy side effects. I'm hoping that I will be part of the group that has no side effects at all, but either way, I will be fine with any side effects if they do happen. It's all for a bigger cause, and it will all be worth it in the end!

 

XOXO

Blastocyst Report

It was 8 days ago today that I had my egg retrieval, and time just feels like it is dragging on at the most excruciating pace! Luckily, we did get a call Saturday with our final Blastocyst counts. 

We officially have 5 Blastocysts frozen and waiting for us.  We ended up with 4 day 5s, and 1 day 6.

The ratings are:
Day 5s-
2@ 3AB & 2@2/3
Day 6-
4BB.

Now I really have no idea what the ratings mean specifically. I have a general idea, but it is all a little fuzzy to me still. Our nurse is off today, so I spoke to someone else, but she wasn't able to help me too much. In fact, she confused me even further...She told me that our 4BB is the best one, but I have always been told that day 5 is better than day 6. Maybe she was mixed up, maybe I am mixed up? We are going to just schedule a regroup with Dr. Surrey at this point to just sit down and get all of our questions answered, and to figure out what the plan will be.

It is a gamble to wait until day 5 & 6 with embryos because you will lose so many between day 3 and 5/6. They took the gamble with me because of my age, and because I have a lot of eggs to begin with. This gamble stressed me out, and to be perfectly honest, I wish that our final number would have been a little higher.  I understand that by day 5/6 they know so much more about the Blastocyst, and that is a good thing. It will hopefully lead to a successful transfer, and they may only need to put 1 really good embryo in, so you're less likely for multiple births this way. They can know which ones stand the best chance to be a success, and some of the weaker ones that might not have survived have been eliminated. I was told that we would lose 30%-40%, between day 3 and day 5/6, so we were anticipating hearing a number around 8. But, we went from 14 day 3 embryos to 5 Blastocysts, which ended up being over 60%, almost double from what I was originally told. We were not really prepared for that, so when we got that final number, we were shocked and a little disappointed. I know that 5 is GREAT, and I really am so thankful for those, I still consider this to be an absolute blessing!! It's all such a gamble, it makes my stomach hurt just thinking about it. I trust that everything happens for a reason, I just need to keep the faith that everything will turn out exactly how it is meant to.

I think being able to see an early embryo vs a day 5 Blastocyst really shows how just a few days can make all the difference. CCRM wants a day 3 embryo to have between 6-10 cells, which is pictured below. You can compare that with a day 5 Blastocyst to see just how much change has occurred in 2 days, it's quite remarkable actually.

I think once we can have our regroup with our Dr. I will feel a lot better, and more confident that we are right where we need to be.

I will be starting my first Lupron Depot month tomorrow, which is scary because of all the side effects, but also exciting because we will be one step closer. I sure hope that time starts to go by a little faster now that all of the stressful stuff is out of the way for a few months.

In the meantime, I am working on keeping the faith, and only allowing myself to think happy, positive, helpful thoughts. My goal for this week is to eliminate all of the worry, all the disappointment, all of the doubt. Just let go, and trust that it will all work out!

XOXO

Egg Retrieval

Let me just start out by saying that I am so glad to have this part of our journey over and done with!

Surgery Center waiting room

Sunday (March 17) was our retrieval, it seemed like such an odd day to have a procedure, but I really liked it because the clinic wasn't as busy as they usually are. They had 3 retrievals Sunday morning, myself included.  I wasn't actually nervous at all, I was just so ready to get all of the eggs out.

My poor pin-cushion stomach right before the retrieval

So first off, I loved how I was treated, it really felt like I was getting first class treatment the entire time I was there. I got warm blankets on several occasions, I had a really nice private room before the surgery, then I was in a really nice, and clean recovery area with nurses checking up on me every few minutes. I also had this strange, yet lovely pillow/blanket contraption (this is a very technical term) on me in recovery that circulated warm air through it, it kept me all kinds of warm and cozy. Overall, it was great, and it went so smoothly.

Pillow/blanket warming thing

Before

After

In total, they retrieved 32 eggs from me. They kept the eggs and the sperm separate until the end of the day, and they said they'd be fertilizing the eggs Sunday night. Last night, once all of my anesthesia wore off, hubby and I were talking about how odd it was to think that our future child/children were being conceived as we were discussing it. We got the progress report call this morning about how things went last night. Out of my 32 eggs that were retrieved, 20 were mature enough to try to fertilize. Of that 20, we have 15 that have fertilized. They will check them again on day 3, (Wednesday) and let us know how they are doing.  They will then check them again on day 5 and 6. (Friday & Saturday) The hope is that we get some really nice day 5 Blastocysts to freeze. Day 5's are considered a little better than day 6 Blastocysts, but honestly, we will take whatever we can get. :)

Also, I am extremely worried about OHSS at this point. I am feeling so bloated and awful, the bloating is almost worse now than it was before the retrieval. I have been so good about drinking tons of Gatorade, and I've been consuming tons of salt, but I just don't think it is helping. I will know more on Friday when I go in for the ultrasound to check for OHSS, but until then, I am quite concerned. For at least the past 7 years of my life I have always weighed between 135 lbs-140 lbs. But yesterday I weighed 153 lbs, luckily today I'm down to 149 lbs. Hopefully the pain and the weight just continues to go down between now and Friday.  I don't actually care about the weight itself, once I can start running and doing my yoga again I am sure I will be back down to my normal weight, but I just want to make sure that I don't have OHSS.  They have been so concerned about that with me, and bringing it up constantly, so maybe it's making me even more paranoid than I should be? Only time will tell, I suppose. I have also been told that I should get a period in about 10 days, so I think that will probably be extremely helpful as far as getting back to my old self.

So now we are back playing the oh-so-familiar waiting game. We are eagerly awaiting information regarding our embryos. I am also eagerly awaiting my period. Not only am I hoping to get some relief with AF, but I will also be starting my first month on Lupron Depot on cycle day 3. I sure hope that my 2 months on Lupron Depot go fast, I am so anxious to get an embryo (or two) in me very soon..

Hope everyone is doing well!

XOXO

Trigger Time!

I am so happy to report that my retrieval is officially set for Sunday! All throughout the week it was still looking like Monday would be the day, but towards the end here I had a little growth spurt. No complaints from me, I am so uncomfortable all of the time these days. I would describe it as extreme pressure, cramping, and fullness in my midsection.  I also get random nausea and hot flashes, but those come and go so they are more tolerable. I have also become sooo emotional, every little thing has made me cry over the past few days. Even the smallest, dumbest things have triggered the waterworks for me.

Today, when I went in for my daily tests I had 25-30 maturing follicles, the top 50% were ranging in size from 17-21mm. Those sizes are right in the window for triggering, so I was not too surprised when my nurse told me that they were going to do the retrieval a day earlier.

So I am officially DONE with stim meds. Menopur, you will definitely not be missed! I will be doing my first Lupron trigger tonight at 11pm, and I will be doing the second one at 11am tomorrow. I will also be going in early tomorrow morning for one last blood test. The light at the end of the tunnel is here, and I am so happy to be here at the home stretch.

On a quick side note, Lupron triggers are not actually the most commonly used method for triggering, HCG trigger shots are far more common.  This is specific to my protocol because I am considered "high risk" for OHSS (Ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome.) As I have mentioned before, I have been super sensitive to all of the stim meds, which is why I have been able to produce/mature so many follicles on such low dosages. It has been great for the amount of money we have had to spend on meds, but I still might be overstimulating even on the low dosages. The Lupron trigger is ideal for me because it helps to significantly reduce OHSS, I will still need to come in for an ultrasound 5 days after the retrieval to check for OHSS though.  I believe Lupron is only used as a trigger if all of the embryos are being frozen, I think it's bad for a fresh transfer.

I can safely say that this has been one of the longest weeks of my entire life, but at the end of the day, I know it has all been worth it. Even though I will still have 2 months on Lupron Depot before the transfer, this was just one huge step closer to the final finish line for us. I am not nervous at all for the surgery, just anxious, I will really be happy to have it over and done with.

I will be back very soon with updates!

Hope everyone has a great weekend,
XOXO

Stim Meds!

I have been on my stim meds since Thursday, so 5 days now!!

The Menopur does sting a little while being injected, but the stinging usually goes away in a few minutes. Also, the injection site is pretty tender for about a day, but that hasn't been a problem because we rotate sides. The Gonal-F Pen is great, I feel nothing, they have the tiniest needles ever, it's a piece of cake.  On the first night, while priming the pen, an entire 37 unit dose shot up into the air, definitely not what was supposed to happen while priming the pen. The instruction video said that only a drop was supposed to come out, so we were pretty freaked out thinking that we had gotten a defective pen or something. We still went on and did that first injection.  I felt nothing during, or after the injection, I was worried that maybe no medicine had come out, the shot just seemed too easy. The next night, we made note of where the medicine was in the pen to see if the remaining amount decreased, and it did. So the pen does work, I guess we just had a random medicine fountain for our viewing pleasure that first night. That pen is somewhat confusing when you look at it and try to figure out how it works internally. I keep trying to figure out where the medicine that is about to be injected goes once you load the proper dose. This is some high-tech stuff we're dealing with here. ;) It is also a little hard to gauge how much is left in the pen, but it lets you know if you don't have enough left to complete a dose.  We haven't finished one yet, tonight we will either barely have enough for the dose, or we will have to start a new one.

The first few days were OK with all of the shots, but I am starting to feel a little worse each day, which is probably pretty normal. I have been feeling sore, bloated, tired, and I have also been very irritable! My husband has been extremely forgiving and kind, even though deep down he probably wants to scream. :) I was also having weird cramping, almost numbness in my legs yesterday. Luckily it was happening while I was getting my blood-work and ultrasound done so I was able to ask our nurse about it. We came to the conclusion that I was not drinking enough water, I am so so so bad at that, and right now it is crucial to be drinking lots of water. When we got home I started to drink a lot of water, I also had some Gatorade (I was told that can help too.) That weird leg pain has gone away luckily, but it does go to show how important it is to stay hydrated!

So onto the follicle update...Yesterday went well, everything is progressing how it should at this point in time. The nurse counted 26 follicles, 14 on the left, and 12 on the right. They are all about the same size, which is really good.  They kept my meds the same, 1 vial of Menopur in the A.M. & 75 units of Gonal-F, along with 1 Dexamethasone in the P.M. We didn't have to go in this morning for the blood-work and ultrasound since things looked good yesterday, but starting tomorrow morning we will be going in every day.  We should be starting the Cetrotide any day now as well.  This medicine is used to prevent a premature LH surge that would cause the eggs to be released without them maturing enough. 

It was really nice to be able to see all of my little follicles growing on the monitor, it made it feel more real, like all of these shots are actually doing something. Things are a little rough for me right now just with how I am feeling, but I know that it is all worth it! We are about halfway through the retrieval process, and I am so thankful for that. I am excited that everything is coming along, but I cannot wait for the retrieval to just be over!

Hopefully when we go in tomorrow things will still be progressing nicely.

XOXO

AMAZING News At Suppression Check!!!

I am in such a great mood, I have been unable to stop smiling, things could not have gone any better this morning at our Suppression Check! :)

So during an ultrasound in December, I had a pretty big and concerning mass taking up my left ovary. I was told by the nurse doing the ultrasound, and by our Dr. at the regroup that this mass appeared to be an Endometrioma (NOT good news.) So during the regroup, the Dr. said that he planned on avoiding that side all together if he could during the retrieval. He did not want to risk disturbing the cyst, it would end up causing me a great deal of pain. This was bad because it meant that I would end up having less eggs that could be retrieved because that side was "out of order" so to speak. That was something that worried me, but I did finally come to terms with that too. Our Dr. was still confident, so that was all that mattered.

Fast forward to today.... I am on the table waiting for the ultrasound to start, worried sick that the stupid cyst has been growing since December. So the nurse doing the ultrasound examined my right side first, and that was all clear, which did not come as much of a surprise, that has always been my good side. When she went over to the left side we were pleasantly surprised to see that side was pretty clear too! There was a little sack of some sort, probably the remainder of that cyst from December. This was such a relief to see, I feel like this has been such an uphill battle from the start, I am so happy to finally get some good news. I do have Polycystic ovaries too, so odds are, this cyst must have been associated with that. Regardless, I am happy that my body finally gave us a little bit of a break.

Everything else with the suppression check went great. We are all set to go, I start stim meds on March 7th. On a side note, I am a little annoyed that I have jury duty on the 7th as well. So we will be doing our first injection around 7:30 am and 20 minutes later I will need to head down to the courthouse... What timing, right? Yes, it is inconvenient, but I keep reminding myself that it could always be worse.

I will start off by taking Menopur, Gonal-F, and Dexamethasone. The first two medications are injected, and are part of a typical IVF protocol. I think that Dexamethasone is also really common, but this one is a steroid that I will be taking at night. From what I understand, it will lower my chances of developing OHSS (Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome.) It has other purposes as well, but for me, it seems like that is it's main purpose. Due to the Polycystic ovaries, I am at a greater risk of developing OHSS, but they will be monitoring me so closely that I am not worried at all about that. I have all the faith in the world in my Dr., and actually the entire staff at CCRM. I can never say enough good things about them, I just think the world of everyone I have dealt with so far!

Here we go!
 
Until next time,

XOXO