The Next Step!

Well, it feels like just yesterday that I was blogging about starting the birth control and finally being in the process. I am so happy to be on the last leg of the birth control step. I find it so weird how time has been going so fast, yet so slow at the same time. It blows my mind.

Either way, things are starting to fall into place and I feel wonderful, and terrible at the same time.  My stimulation medicines came yesterday, and I was happy, but I also cried most of the day because I became extremely overwhelmed. I am scared, I am anxious, I feel about 20 different emotions all at the same time. I cannot even begin to explain it. I tried to explain it to my sister-in-law yesterday, but of course, words failed me. Either way, we are ready, and this next step will be starting next week!

Last night we watched all of the training videos that the pharmacy sent us, everything seemed pretty straightforward. Although, we were both quite concerned about possibly having to do that "dart-like motion" with the needle if we have to do an Intramuscular Injection. We are both hoping we will not have to do any of those, we will know Monday.  I get so squeamish watching needles go into skin, luckily, my husband will be administering most, if not all of the shots. I also worry a little about the mixing, but he also wants to do most of that too, which is a relief to me. I am NOT good at such detailed work, but he is, so I am thankful for that. So, we go in on Monday (3/4/13) for the Suppression Check, and the final meeting before we start. We have been told that the odds that the cycle would be delayed or cancelled at this point are slim. I have an ongoing list of final questions to ask, but overall we feel confident and well-equipped to handle this.  The next time we will go up to CCRM will be 3/10/13, and by that time we will be getting more detailed information on how things are progressing.

Whew, one step down!

I will be back with updates more often now since things are starting to pick up with the cycle.

Until next time,

XOXO

An Update

A few highlights from our Valentine's Day

 
So on Valentine's day we had another appointment at CCRM. You would think that this would be a crummy day to go in, but somehow I actually found it sweet and romantic. We were doing something together, and we were planning and looking ahead towards our future.  I actually really like going to appointments these days, although it is a 45 minute drive, it feels much shorter. I know that with each appointment we go to, we get one step closer to the finish line. It would be so nice if we lived in Denver, but considering that people come to Denver from all around the world, I consider our commute extremely easy.

I would not go as far as to say that we got awful news at our appointment, but it was not good news either. Really, it is just another drop (well another two drops) in the bucket of my infertility problems. I have been trying to do an update post for the past few days, and have been struggling to bring myself to talk about all of the bad stuff right now. I am trying not to worry about it anymore.  The Dr. was cool, calm, and collected, and I need to be too. Yes, we got some less than ideal news, but nothing has changed as far as the cycle goes. The schedule is the exact same, no cancellations, no delays. I am starting to see more and more how great our Dr. is though, he is covering every base. The more I learn regarding my test results, the more I understand and respect his decision to put me on the Lupron Depot for two months.

I have seen a quote on Instagram several times that says:
"Stop being afraid of what could go wrong, and focus on what could go right..."
This is exactly what I am going to do. I am officially letting go of all of the things I cannot control, and erasing from my brain all of the reasons why this might not work. I think we have done all that we can do as far as finding a great clinic, finding a great Dr, and being put on a great treatment plan.  The only other thing that I can do now is to not stress out.  Stress plays a huge role in this equation too, but this is something that I have control over.

I do not know if this is going to work, but there are many things in life that I do not know about, so we can just add this to the list.

 But...here is what I do know:
*I have an incredible husband that is perfect for me. At the end of the day, we have each other, and that is definitely enough!
*I also have two amazing rescue dogs that I consider my little furry children, they bring so much joy to my life.
*I have an outstanding doctor, I trust him 100%.
*I have a spectacular family/support system. No matter what the outcome is, they will always be here for us.
*Life is a gift! Even when it seems like everything is falling apart, things will always turn around. I truly believe that you have to know some bad times to fully appreciate the good times. This too shall pass.

On one final and exciting note, as of today, we have officially ordered and purchased all of the medicines for the retrieval, they will be arriving shortly. Things are starting to feel very real now!

Well, that is it for now.  :)

XOXO

A Nice Escape

Let me just start by saying, Winter Park, Colorado in one of my all-time favorite places on Earth! Not only is it my favorite ski resort, but I also just love the town. It is one of those places that just makes me so happy, I have countless fantastic memories associated with Winter Park and we jump at every opportunity to make it up there. My husband and I even spent our first wedding anniversary in Winter Park. We got a dog-friendly room at The Vintage for a few days and packed up ourselves and the pups and knocked around in the mountains for the weekend.  It was such a relaxing and wonderful getaway, I go back to that trip in my mind all the time, it is one of my many "happy places."  It does not matter to us what month it is, we love Winter Park year-round.

We get emails from Winter Park Resort every now and then, which has been great because we have gotten some insane deals that way. When we went on Wednesday February 13 2013 we paid $65 each for our lift tickets, but if we would have paid at the window that day they would have been $104 each. WOW! We both were able to take off from work and take advantage of the deal. Not only was the price great, but the slopes were so empty. There were no waits for the lifts, and I only saw a few fellow skiers/boarders each run I did. I sometimes get stressed out when it gets too crowded, so this was perfect for me, I want to start going during the week more often.

On a side note, if you ever do find yourself in Winter Park, I highly recommend Hernando's Pizza & Pasta Pub. They have such amazing food, service, drinks, and the atmosphere is so fun. It is the perfect place to unwind after a long day on the slopes.  I found out in 2010 that I have a gluten intolerance, but I have been eating at Hernando's long before that. I was terrified that I would no longer be able to enjoy one of my favorite places, but I am happy to report that they do have gluten free options, including gluten free pizza! My first time eating GF at Hernanado's was stressful because I figured that the pizza would never live up to their regular pizza that I have grown to love so much, but I was pleasantly surprised! They make a really good gluten free pizza, I even remember telling Travis that I was worried that I was getting glutened because it tasted so good.  I was so relieved that I was not sick the next day, it turned out that their GF pizza was just that good.  Sadly, we were unable to stop for pizza this time around. It had been snowing most of the day and the roads were starting to get bad, we just wanted to get up and over the pass as soon as we could. There is always next time.

 Although we were only there for one day this time, it was a great mini getaway for us. When you are going through infertility any little break that you can take from life is something to truly cherish. We felt more relaxed, and energized after taking a day off from everything. I am hoping we can fit at least one more ski trip in this season, but since we are now starting our IVF cycle I am not sure. Maybe after the retrieval...
 
Here are some pictures from our trip, and also a few from our anniversary trip in August 2011.

It was a great day trip, with even better company!! :)

Also, we saw our fertility Dr. the next day and got some new updates. Some good news, some bad news, you know, the usual....I will be doing another post with all of the newest developments this weekend.

Until next time,
XOXO

Ready, Set, GO!

For literally one of the first times in my life, my cycle actually started on the exact day I wanted it to! Typically I am 1-2 weeks late, so it really is a big deal that I was only a few days late this month. Perhaps this is a sign that good things are about to come? We can only hope...

I was overjoyed with the arrival of my cycle, but that joy went away pretty quickly once the intense pain set in. Yesterday was a really bad day as far as pain goes, I had the type of pain that literally causes tears, and it was very difficult to focus on much of anything. Today's pain is still pretty bad, but definitely nowhere near as bad as yesterday. I had a Laparoscopy in May of 2012, and I have noticed that my pain has been getting progressively worse each month since that surgery. I am probably just getting back to the same pain that I had before the surgery. I got spoiled for those first months following the surgery, I felt pretty good most of the time.

This is what my night last night consisted of...I had my heating pad, some hot cocoa, and my pink snuggie. I was as comfortable as I could have been.

So yesterday was cycle day 1, and on day 3, I start the 25 days of birth control. I am relieved to have gotten my set schedule, now I finally know what the plan is for everything leading up to the retrieval. I am the type of person who really needs schedules and structure in life, so now I feel much better having the schedule finalized. I am feeling more nervous, but also more excited to finally get going on this. 

YAY!

I will start this off by saying that I have 100% faith in our Dr. at CCRM, he has an excellent reputation and track record, I know that we are getting the very best care from him given our specific situation. That being said, I am definitely bummed with the way our IVF cycle is planned out.  The way the cycle is set up, I will be doing the egg retrieval in March, but they will be freezing the embryos at that time. We will not end up doing the transfer until June or July. Of course, a fresh embryo transfer is better than a frozen embryo transfer. But, because of my severe Endometriosis and Polycystic Ovaries those issues need to be taken care of before we do the transfer.  So after the retrieval, I will go on 2 months of Lupron. Hopefully by the end of that second Lupron month the Dr. will say that I am ready to do the transfer. He has suggested potentially needing another Laparoscopy, but we are praying that the Lupron will be enough.

When I think about the entire cycle as whole, I get discouraged because June/July is so far away. This road has already been so long and difficult for us, we are so ready for it to all be over. One thing that has been helping me is to break the cycle down into parts. I keep a smaller, but closer, end in sight. This way I am taking it month by month, one step at a time. The transfer is still so far away, so I am trying to not think about it yet. We will cross that bridge when we get there.

Right now I am grateful to finally be on the starting line.

One step at a time!

Also, I have found a new favorite song that really has been inspiring for me lately, Carry On, by Fun. When I feel down and defeated it has done a great job at raising my spirits up again. I just love it! If you are going through a rough time too, I recommend listening to this song. I think it can be helpful for many different situations.

On one final and completely unrelated note...I am doing a Photo-A-Day challenge on Instagram, (they are so much fun) and today's picture was a nail of the day. I decided to do a pink and white polka dot design. I wanted to share it because I just love the finished look, I cannot help but smile when I look down at my nails! :)



Until next time,

XOXO

A Day In Photos

I just LOVE these types of posts.  Here are a few of the things we did on Saturday February 2 2013.

Hubby and I started the day out with an enjoyable early morning Vinyasa Flow Yoga class.

My sister-in-law and I went for a 2.3 mile run and an additional 2.3 mile lap just doing a brisk walk. The weather was great, the run was great, it was overall an amazing time.

Beautiful view! I never get tired of seeing that everyday.

Dinner was a chicken salad with a Thai peanut sauce also with sliced mango and raspberries. SOOO good and super refreshing after all of the exercising I ended up doing.

Last but certainly not least... Today was Ike's (our Italian Greyhound) 4th birthday. To celebrate, we got the dogs a "Pup-Cake" from a local dog bakery to share.  Of course, they loved it! :)

My family and I had a nice, relaxing Saturday.  All fertility problems aside, I could not have asked for a better day.

XOXO

New Beginings

My husband and I have officially embarked on a brand new journey.  We are starting our first In Vitro Fertilization cycle at the Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine (CCRM.) We never thought this would be the road that we would be placed on, but this is where we are, and we are determined to make the best of the situation.  Something I remind myself of everyday is that "everything happens for a reason."  I have no idea why this had to be our path when other people can get pregnant so incredibly easy. Regardless, we are taking this one day at a time.  The harsh reality is that every new day brings another painful heartbreak for us, but our hope is that someday we will be able to understand why this was our fate...

As some of you may know, I also run a beauty blog but I have not actually blogged since September 2012.  As all of these new challenges and bad news kept coming our way, my interest in beauty/cosmetics changed.  Do not get me wrong, I still love makeup, but I have not had it in me to pretend that I am as excited as I used to be for all of the newly released collections. I used to live for that, but honestly, right now it is no longer something that I am all too concerned about.  Plus, we have been trying to save as much money as possible due to the cost of fertility treatments. I do not know what the fate of my beauty blog will be, odds are this is just a short break for me.  My passion has always been makeup so I am sure I will find my way back to that eventually, I always do. :)

I have decided that I do really miss blogging, but as my life has changed, so has the topics that I like to discuss.  That being said, IVF is not who I am, or all that my life consists of.  As a result, this blog will not be 100% about our fertility adventure.  I will also be sharing day-to-day things, recipes, photos, a little bit of everything. Of course there will be quite a bit about IVF, but that won't be all.