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| A few highlights from our Valentine's Day |
So on Valentine's day we had another appointment at CCRM. You would think that this would be a crummy day to go in, but somehow I actually found it sweet and romantic. We were doing something together, and we were planning and looking ahead towards our future. I actually really like going to appointments these days, although it is a 45 minute drive, it feels much shorter. I know that with each appointment we go to, we get one step closer to the finish line. It would be so nice if we lived in Denver, but considering that people come to Denver from all around the world, I consider our commute extremely easy.
I would not go as far as to say that we got awful news at our appointment, but it was not good news either. Really, it is just another drop (well another two drops) in the bucket of my infertility problems. I have been trying to do an update post for the past few days, and have been struggling to bring myself to talk about all of the bad stuff right now. I am trying not to worry about it anymore. The Dr. was cool, calm, and collected, and I need to be too. Yes, we got some less than ideal news, but nothing has changed as far as the cycle goes. The schedule is the exact same, no cancellations, no delays. I am starting to see more and more how great our Dr. is though, he is covering every base. The more I learn regarding my test results, the more I understand and respect his decision to put me on the Lupron Depot for two months.
I have seen a quote on Instagram several times that says:
"Stop being afraid of what could go wrong, and focus on what could go right..."
This is exactly what I am going to do. I am officially letting go of all of the things I cannot control, and erasing from my brain all of the reasons why this might not work. I think we have done all that we can do as far as finding a great clinic, finding a great Dr, and being put on a great treatment plan. The only other thing that I can do now is to not stress out. Stress plays a huge role in this equation too, but this is something that I have control over.
I do not know if this is going to work, but there are many things in life that I do not know about, so we can just add this to the list.
But...here is what I do know:
*I have an incredible husband that is perfect for me. At the end of the day, we have each other, and that is definitely enough!
*I also have two amazing rescue dogs that I consider my little furry children, they bring so much joy to my life.
*I have an outstanding doctor, I trust him 100%.
*I have a spectacular family/support system. No matter what the outcome is, they will always be here for us.
*Life is a gift! Even when it seems like everything is falling apart, things will always turn around. I truly believe that you have to know some bad times to fully appreciate the good times. This too shall pass.
On one final and exciting note, as of today, we have officially ordered and purchased all of the medicines for the retrieval, they will be arriving shortly. Things are starting to feel very real now!
Well, that is it for now. :)
XOXO
Glad you found a Dr you like and trust.
ReplyDeleteWishing you all the best on your journey xxx
Thank you so much, I wish you all the best as well! :)
Deletegood luck! no turning back....and it's a win-win remember!!! Where are you located? north or south of CCRM? If you need anything..let me know!
ReplyDeleteYou're so right, we are in this now. I'm south of CCRM. Thank you, you are so sweet, please let me know if you need anything as well! :)
DeleteWonderful post! And great quote. It is so important to remember our blessings.
ReplyDeleteHi Laura, I stumbled upon your blog and wanted to thank you for sharing your journey! If you don't mind sharing, I was curious if your Dr. ever suggested doing just Lupron or other hormonal drugs to clear up endo (& then try on your own or use IUI etc) prior to trying IVF? Endo runs in my family (as does difficulty TTC), I have the "classic" symptoms, & my HSG showed tubal abnormalities consistent with endo adhesions/scar tissue. I probably won't have a laparoscopy until April, so I am just trying to mentally prepare myself.
ReplyDeleteThank you also for the reminder to focus on the positives! Wishing you all the best & praying for success!
Hi Christina!
DeleteHe did not suggest that, I think at this point too much has already come back. As it is now, for our retrieval he is not even wanting to go into the left ovary area at all, (hopefully the right side produces enough eggs.) He does not want to disturb a pretty big Endometrial cyst that is taking up most of that area. Maybe it is too big and too much for Lupron? He said we could try an IUI if I had another Laparoscopy first. While the Laparoscopy actually made me feel so good afterwards, I just do not think I have it in me to do two in less than a year. The other concern with an IUI is that one of my tubes is not quite right. The contrast die did go through, but it did not flow out how it was supposed to, possibly due to scar tissue? Who knows lol. Also, with my Polycystic Ovaries, I have a higher chance of miscarriage, so the nice thing with the IVF is that you are actually on meds well into the first trimester, I will be under the care of that Dr. until the end of the first trimester. So the hope is that additional monitoring and regulation will help lower our change of miscarriage. Fingers crossed.
It is quite a big decision to jump immediately to IVF, we were really hoping to try an IUI or something cheaper first. That was one of the reasons why we got two opinions, unfortunately they both thought this would end up being the best option. We finally just decided that this would probably be the best thing to do with my bucket list of issues.
You should actually feel really great after your Laparoscopy. I was scared, but it really was no worse than some of the pain I already get from Endometriosis. Granted, I really have not had many other surgeries, but it was not too bad at all. Now will you be doing an IUI afterwards? Or will you be TTC on your own for a while after the surgery?
Thank you so much for the kinds words, and good luck to you, I will be keeping you in my prayers as well! I would love it if you kept me posted. ;) Or do you have a blog that I can follow too?
Hi Laura! Thanks so much for the info- I really appreciate it! I have my consult with my RE concerning laparoscopy in 2 weeks, so I'll see what he says in terms of treatment- I am hoping to do an IUI following surgery. I am honestly pretty scared...not even in terms of pain/surgery, but just of what he might find. I will definitely keep you posted and continue following your journey! I don't have a blog (yet) as I have been really shy about telling anyone of my issues. Thanks again and good luck this week!! :)
DeleteChristina,
DeleteHopefully it goes well though! I look forward to hearing updates.
Thank you so much! :)